Last time, I posted about diabetes.
I tried to give you some idea of what kind of balancing act it is, and how sometimes it can be really, really shitty trying to hold that thin balance between 'really dangerous and you could die right now' and 'uncomfortable now and will still kill you someday.'
And sometimes you just get really, really tired of balancing. So you say 'Fuck it' and go lay down on the uncomfortable side, because it is so much bigger, and easier, and less work.
But unfortunately, once you have taken that break in the land of discomfort and future death, it gets even harder to return to the balancing act, and then the wobbles get bigger and more difficult to control.
I have spent long enough resting on this bed of rocks, they are really pointy and beginning to leave dents in my spine. But I have to re-learn the balance, and remember to forgive myself when it is not perfect, and not overcorrect when the wobbles come.
Wish me luck.