Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Purpose in Life.

I think I used to feel a purpose in life, but lately I have been floating... drifting... unsure anymore why I'm here, or what I want.
I am still a mom, a wife, an insurance sales associate, but I reject the idea that any of these are the whole of my existence, my only reason for being.
I used to dream of finding Mr. Right, getting married, having a family. I did not dream of selling insurance, but I did envision, in a foggy sort of way, having a job that I enjoyed and being successful at it. Now I have these things, to a greater or lesser degree, and I find that I am not ready to end here. To just be 'happily ever after'. But I look up from where I find myself, and suddenly the direction is not clear, I don't know where I'm going or what I should do to get there. There are so many directions I could look, but none of them really feel right.
I used to daydream about going into space, building rockets. I also loved (still love!) to read, and imagined I could write a novel. The attraction of those dreams is still present, but the obstacle of practicality has become suddenly more visible, more of a barrier. I do not feel that these are real goals anymore.
Searching for a goal without any real direction is a very listless, dreary place to be.
Hey anonymous internet, does anyone know what my purpose in life really is??

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